Let me ask you something: does it ever feel like you’re constantly being pushed to do things—things you don’t even want to do—but you go along with them anyway? This is especially true during menopause, isn’t it? A time when everything feels heavier—your body, your responsibilities, even your emotions. But here’s the thing: what if you didn’t have to be pushed all the time? What if you could be pulled instead—pulled by something that truly excites and fulfills you?
That’s what I want to talk about today: the “push-pull” dynamic, a concept from Positive Intelligence. It’s a simple idea, but it can completely change the way you approach life, especially during menopause.
The Push-Pull Concept Explained
Here’s how it works. Being “pushed” means doing things out of obligation—because you feel you should, or because someone else expects you to. We’ve all been there, right? But being “pulled” is different. It’s about following what genuinely excites you, the things that light you up. It’s about being guided by your inner drive rather than external pressures.
Shirzad Chamine, who wrote Positive Intelligence, says this: “Your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Learning to quiet the mental saboteurs that push you and amplify the sage that pulls you is the key to happiness and success.” When you’re pulled by joy and purpose, life just feels easier and more meaningful.
Why This Matters So Much for Middle-Aged Women
Let’s be honest: menopause isn’t just about the physical changes. Sure, there are the hot flashes and the sleepless nights, but it’s also this massive period of self-discovery. And it can be overwhelming, can’t it? You’ve got sleepless nights, a to-do list a mile long, and this nagging feeling that something is missing.
A lot of women I talk to feel stuck. They’re caught in this cycle of doing what they “should” instead of what they want. And let me tell you, that is exhausting. But here’s the good news: everything shifts when you focus on what pulls you. You set healthier boundaries, protect your energy, and suddenly, you’ve got room for joy again. Doesn’t that sound amazing?
Why Core Values Are the Secret Sauce
I’ve learned that if you want to shift from being pushed to being pulled, you have to connect with your core values. These are the things that matter most to you—your guiding principles. When you align your actions with your values, everything feels more authentic and more fulfilling.
Better Sleep and Less Stress
When you focus on what aligns with your values and brings fulfillment, stress levels decrease. This improves sleep quality, making it easier to tackle the day ahead.
Sleep becomes the first thing to go when you’re constantly stressed because you’re doing things that don’t align with your values. But when you focus on what truly matters to you, stress decreases, and guess what? You sleep better. It’s like magic. OK, hot flashes may wake you occasionally, but you still sleep better than before!
More Time for What You Love
By saying no to commitments that don’t align with your values, you’ll have more time for hobbies, relationships, and passions—the things that truly pull you toward happiness
Emotional and Physical Health
The Cleveland Clinic even says that emotional well-being during menopause greatly impacts physical health. Women who manage their stress through mindfulness and value-driven choices often report fewer hot flashes and more energy. Doesn’t that sound like a win?
When You Know What Matters, Everything Changes
Laura came to me feeling completely overwhelmed. She was 58 years old, juggling a demanding job that she loved and caring for her aging parents. She told me, “Denise, I barely have time to breathe, let alone think about myself.” Sound familiar?
During one of our sessions, I asked Laura, “What matters to you, lights you up?” What are your core values?” She thought about it and said, “Creativity and connection. I love to paint but haven’t picked up a paintbrush in years.”
So, she started small by carving out just an hour a week to paint. She also set some boundaries at work and said no to a few things that didn’t align with her values. And you know what? The changes were incredible. She started sleeping better, she felt less stressed, and she told me, “I finally feel like myself again.” Seeing her transformation was such a powerful reminder of how life-changing it is to live in alignment with what pulls you.
Why You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Here’s the thing: making this shift doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s not something you have to figure out on your own. That’s why I created my monthly class, From Hormones to Harmony: The Menopause Wellness Series. This is where we cut through all the myths and nonsense about menopause and focus on what actually works. And we have some laughs along the way—because humor is definitely part of of it all!
In the class, we talk about:
- How to quiet those mental saboteurs that push you.
- How to amplify the sage within that pulls you.
- How to reconnect with your core values so you can build a life that feels joyful and balanced.
Doesn’t that sound like something you need?
Let’s Start Your Transformation
Menopause isn’t the end of the road. It’s a new beginning, a chance to create a life that truly aligns with your passions and values. Imagine waking up every day feeling energized, joyful, and free from all that overwhelm.
So, are you ready to make the shift? Schedule a free strategy call with me today, and let’s figure out how to get you there because you deserve a life that pulls you toward what matters most.