You walk into a room and forget why you’re there.
A word you’ve used a thousand times suddenly disappears in the middle of a conversation.
You’re sitting in a meeting, listening to someone speak, and realize you haven’t absorbed a thing they’ve said.
Or perhaps you’re staring at your computer thinking, Why can’t I think the way I used to?
If this sounds familiar, you’re far from alone. According to The Menopause Society, 40% to 60% of midlife women report cognitive symptoms such as forgetfulness during the menopause transition.
We often call it menopause brain fog, and hormones are certainly part of the conversation.
But what if they’re not the only part?
New research involving more than 900 women in perimenopause suggests something we don’t talk about nearly enough: loneliness and social isolation may also be associated with how women perceive their cognitive function.
When I read that study, it caught my attention for a very personal reason.
I Realized I Was Standing Outside the Circle
Not long ago, I was talking with my coach when a theme surfaced that surprised me.
I felt like I was standing outside the circle.
I’ve lived in Minnesota for 23 years, and during that time I’ve met many wonderful women. I attend events and networking groups. I have great conversations. When I run into women I know, they seem genuinely happy to see me, and I’m genuinely happy to see them.
I know a lot of people.
But knowing people and feeling deeply connected to people are not necessarily the same thing.
When I really thought about it, I realized that I rarely felt like I was inside the circle of friendship. I felt as though I was standing just outside of it, close enough to see everyone and talk to everyone, but not quite part of it.
Then came the thought that really hurt:
Sometimes I feel as though if I moved out of town, no one would notice.
That realization made me sad. For a while, I was in a bit of a funk because my life doesn’t look lonely.
I’m married. I have a career I love. I have colleagues and acquaintances. I attend events. I talk to people all the time.
But was I deeply connected?
That was a different question.
Eventually, I realized that if I wanted deeper friendships, I couldn’t keep waiting to somehow find myself inside the circle.
I needed to help create the circle.
Then I came across a fascinating study about loneliness, social isolation, and cognitive symptoms in perimenopausal women.
Suddenly, my personal realization and my work as a Menopause Mentor collided.
What Causes Brain Fog During Perimenopause?
Brain fog isn’t a medical diagnosis. It’s the term many women use to describe changes such as forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, losing their train of thought, struggling to retrieve words or names, feeling distracted, and having trouble holding information in their working memory.
These experiences are common during the menopause transition.
A 2026 systematic review and meta-analysis found that cognitive concerns such as forgetfulness and difficulty concentrating are frequently reported during perimenopause and can affect women’s daily lives, work, and relationships.
Hormonal changes are one potential contributor, but brain fog during perimenopause is more complicated than simply saying, “My estrogen is low.”
Sleep disruption and changes in mood can occur alongside cognitive complaints during the menopause transition. Stress and other menopause-related symptoms may also contribute to how mentally sharp a woman feels.
Think of it less like one light switch being turned off and more like several dimmer switches being adjusted at the same time.
Hormones are one.
Sleep is another.
Stress is another.
Mood, nutrition, workload, medications, and overall health can add to the picture.
And now we may need to add social connection to that list.
What Did the New Loneliness and Menopause Study Find?
A 2026 study published in Menopause, the journal of The Menopause Society, included 903 perimenopausal women.
Researchers assessed loneliness, social isolation, and subjective cognitive decline, meaning the cognitive changes the women themselves noticed and reported.
Both loneliness and social isolation were independently associated with subjective cognitive decline.
Even more interesting, women experiencing moderate-to-severe loneliness and social isolation had the highest odds of being in the group reporting more severe subjective cognitive symptoms.
That’s worth paying attention to.
But before we jump to the conclusion that calling your girlfriends will cure your brain fog, that’s not what this study tells us.
This was a cross-sectional observational study using self-reported online questionnaires. Researchers were looking at associations at a particular point in time. The study cannot tell us that loneliness causes brain fog.
We don’t know whether feeling lonely contributes to cognitive symptoms, whether women struggling with cognitive symptoms become more socially withdrawn, or whether other factors influence both.
But the association is important enough that I think we should pay attention to it.
Loneliness and Social Isolation Are Not the Same Thing
This distinction may be the most important part of this conversation.
You don’t have to be alone to be lonely.
Social isolation is more objective. It refers to things such as the size of our social network and how much social interaction we have.
Loneliness is subjective. It’s the experience of feeling that the relationships we have aren’t providing the connection we need.
That’s exactly why this research resonated with me.
I wasn’t isolated.
I was busy. I knew people. I attended events. I had conversations.
I wasn’t lacking people. I was craving deeper connection.
And I suspect I’m not the only woman in midlife who has experienced that.
You can have a spouse, children, coworkers, clients, neighbors, friends on Facebook, followers on Instagram, and a calendar so full that you’re looking for somewhere to squeeze in a haircut.
And still feel lonely.
Why Midlife May Change Our Social Circles
Midlife has a funny way of changing our circles without us really noticing it.
Kids grow up, go to college, or move away. Our parents get older and may need more of our attention. Careers can become more demanding at exactly the time our energy and sleep may be changing.
Some friendships grow with us. Others quietly fade.
We move.
We change careers.
We divorce or become widowed.
We become caregivers.
Sometimes we simply discover that relationships that fit our lives 15 years ago don’t provide the same connection today.
Meanwhile, we’re communicating constantly.
We’re answering emails, texting our kids, talking to clients, checking on our parents, sitting in meetings, and responding to everyone who needs something from us.
But communicating isn’t necessarily connecting.
Being needed isn’t the same as being known.
Sleep May Be Another Piece of the Menopause Brain Fog Puzzle
There’s another reason I don’t want women to assume every cognitive change is directly caused by estrogen: sleep.
A 2026 systematic review examined 19 studies on sleep and cognitive function in postmenopausal women. The researchers found that insufficient sleep was associated with poorer cognitive health. Sleeping fewer than six hours was associated with problems maintaining attention and slower information processing.
The authors also pointed out limitations in the research, including differences in participant ages and the methods used to measure sleep and cognition.
Still, it reinforces an important point.
A woman may be experiencing several things at once.
Her hormones are changing. Night sweats may be waking her. She isn’t getting restorative sleep. She’s stressed at work. She’s worried about her mother. She’s mentally keeping track of everything her family needs.
And she feels as though she doesn’t have anyone she can really talk to.
Then she walks into a meeting and can’t remember the name of someone she’s known for five years.
It’s tempting to say, “It’s menopause.”
It may absolutely be related to the menopause transition.
But the pathway may be much more complicated than we realize.
Your Brain Doesn’t Live in a Vacuum
When a woman tells me she can’t think clearly anymore, I want to widen the lens.
I want to know what’s happening with her hormones, but I also want to know:
How is she sleeping? How much stress is she carrying? Has her mood changed? Is she experiencing frequent hot flashes or night sweats? Is she eating enough protein and nourishing foods? Is she constantly multitasking? What medications is she taking? Could there be another medical issue contributing? How heavy is her workload?
And now I would add another question:
Does she feel connected?
Because your brain doesn’t operate separately from the life you’re living.
A woman sleeping five hours a night, navigating hormonal changes, managing a demanding career, caring for an aging parent, worrying about her children, and carrying much of the emotional load at home is asking a tremendous amount of her brain.
If she also feels lonely, that deserves to be part of the conversation.
Brain fog is not always just a hormone story. Sometimes the mind becomes depleted because a woman has been carrying too much while feeling connected to too few people.
What Do We Know About Social Connection and Cognitive Health?
The new perimenopause study isn’t the only research connecting our social lives with cognitive health.
A large individual-participant meta-analysis published in The Lancet Healthy Longevity combined data from 13 longitudinal studies and 38,614 adults without dementia at baseline.
Several forms of social connection were associated with slower cognitive decline. For example, weekly interactions with family and friends and weekly participation in community groups were associated with slower memory decline. Never feeling lonely was associated with slower decline in global cognition and executive function compared with often feeling lonely.
Again, association is not causation, and this research wasn’t specifically examining menopause brain fog.
But when we put the emerging perimenopause research alongside the broader research on social connection and cognition, I think there’s a useful message for women:
Connection deserves to be considered part of a healthy lifestyle.
Treat Connection Like a Health Practice
Most of us already know that we should exercise.
We know sleep matters.
We know we need nourishing food.
We schedule mammograms, physicals, and dental appointments.
But friendship?
That gets squeezed into whatever time remains.
I’ll call her when things calm down.
We’ll have lunch after this project is finished.
I’ll reach out after the holidays.
Except there is always another deadline, another project, another holiday, and another person who needs something.
Maybe meaningful connection deserves a place on the calendar too.
I know, scheduling friendship doesn’t sound particularly spontaneous or romantic. But neither does scheduling date night, and plenty of married couples have discovered that if it’s not on the calendar, it probably isn’t happening.
This isn’t about adding more networking events to an already overflowing schedule.
I certainly don’t need another event where I have 12 lovely five-minute conversations and then go home.
I’m talking about something deeper.
Maybe there’s a woman you already know and genuinely like, but neither of you has taken the relationship beyond those conversations you have whenever you happen to see each other.
Ask her to coffee.
Take a walk.
Pick up the phone instead of sending another text.
And here’s a novel idea for those of us who network for a living: join something simply because you enjoy it, not because it might be good for business.
Perhaps even say the thing that feels surprisingly vulnerable:
“I’d really like to spend more time together.”
Where Mental Fitness Comes In
Here’s what may happen next.
Your mind starts creating reasons not to do it.
She’s probably too busy.
She already has her group of friends.
She doesn’t need another friend.
What if she says no?
Mental fitness helps us notice those thoughts without automatically allowing them to make our decisions.
Instead of treating every thought as a fact, we can question the story and choose an action that moves us toward the life we actually want.
That’s what changed for me.
I could continue telling myself I was standing outside the circle.
Or I could start creating the kind of relationships I wanted.
Maybe I wasn’t outside the circle because someone had deliberately left me there.
Maybe I was waiting for a circle when what I really needed was to start creating one.
That realization gave me something I didn’t have before.
A choice.
When Should You Talk to Your Doctor About Brain Fog?
Brain fog is common during the menopause transition, but that doesn’t mean every cognitive symptom should automatically be attributed to menopause.
Talk with your healthcare provider if cognitive changes are persistent, worsening, interfering with work or daily activities, concerning to people close to you, or simply feel significant enough that you’re worried.
Sleep problems, mood disorders, medication effects, thyroid conditions, nutritional deficiencies, and other medical issues may also contribute to cognitive symptoms and deserve appropriate evaluation.
You deserve a thoughtful evaluation rather than being told you’re simply “getting older” or assuming everything happening in your 40s and 50s must be menopause.
Start Connecting the Dots
One of the biggest mistakes we can make during perimenopause is looking at every symptom separately.
Brain fog over here.
Poor sleep over there.
Weight changes somewhere else.
Then there are the headaches, irritability, anxiety, fatigue, hot flashes, cravings, and that nagging feeling that you simply aren’t as sharp as you used to be.
It’s tempting to search for one explanation for each symptom. But your body doesn’t work in separate compartments, and sometimes the real clarity comes when you step back and look at the patterns.
That’s why I created the Hormone Clarity Tool.
It helps you look at the symptoms you’re experiencing together and begin connecting the dots between the hormonal and metabolic patterns that may be influencing how you feel.
It isn’t a diagnostic tool, and it doesn’t replace a conversation with your healthcare provider. Think of it as a starting point. Instead of walking into your next appointment with a long list of seemingly unrelated symptoms, you’ll have a clearer picture of what has been changing and better questions to ask.
And while you’re connecting the dots inside your body, I want you to look at one more part of your health:
Your circle.
Who makes you feel seen?
Name someone who makes you laugh?
Who leaves you feeling better after you’ve spent time together?
Is there someone you would genuinely like to know better?
Maybe that’s another dot worth connecting.
Choose one woman and reach out. Send the text. Make the call. Invite her for coffee or a walk.
Don’t wait until life becomes less busy. We both know how that usually works out.
Connection isn’t something we get around to after we’ve taken care of our health.
It may be part of how we take care of our health.
And perhaps the circle you’ve been waiting to be invited into is one you can begin creating yourself.
Research & Sources
Lin X, Zhao X, Liu X, et al. (2026). “Independent and joint associations of loneliness and social isolation with subjective cognitive decline in perimenopausal women.” Menopause.
Read the study on PubMed
Bangle A, Williams D, Walters J, Nguyen L. (2026). “Cognitive functioning in perimenopause: An updated systematic review and meta-analysis.” Psychology and Aging, 41(3), 303–318.
Read the study on PubMed
Williams M, Maki PM. (2025). “A Review of Cognitive, Sleep, and Mood Changes in the Menopausal Transition: Beyond Vasomotor Symptoms.” Obstetrics & Gynecology, 146(3), 350–359.
Read the review on PubMed
Metcalf CA, Duffy KA, Page CE, Novick AM. (2023). “Cognitive Problems in Perimenopause: A Review of Recent Evidence.” Current Psychiatry Reports, 25(10), 501–511.
Read the full review through the National Library of Medicine
Benýšková E, Beníčková M, Gimunová M. (2026). “The Effect of Sleep Deprivation on Cognitive Function in Postmenopausal Women: A Systematic Review.” International Journal of Women’s Health, 18.
Read the study on PubMed
Samtani S, Mahalingam G, Lam BCP, et al. (2022). “Associations between social connections and cognition: a global collaborative individual participant data meta-analysis.” The Lancet Healthy Longevity, 3(11), e740–e753.
Read the study on PubMed
The Menopause Society. “Perimenopause.” Includes information about brain fog and cognitive symptoms during the menopause transition.
Read The Menopause Society’s patient information